The Stupid Book

Here at the Sheffield Boxing Centre, we have heard all the excuses under the sun for why people can't make boxing training. So many in fact we have a wall in our gym dedicated to some of the best. We've now put these in a book on our website for you to enjoy and learn from so turn through the pages in the below to see some of the gems.

Glyn's favourite quote whilst you are training

"Are you training or talking". Glyn Rhodes
"When we go, we will need a map reader? What for!!" Lee Edwards
"I'm going to Florida to watch Clinton fight Tarver. Is Clinton going to be there?" Rob Burton, Accountant
"Why haven't you been training? I went bird watching, but there wasn't any birds." Joseph
"I forget about it if I don't remember." Gill
"I can only train for 30mins tonight, I have to meet my granny..." Lee Edwards, on his up and coming fight
"Why are you training at this time? Because the dogs been in the house all day." Phil Anderson
"Tony's boxing a kid whose had 2 and lost 2, so there has to be a winner." Simon Chambers
"You should get a tshirt with your own name on it like Billy has. But I'm not called Billy." Nial Hopkins
"Are you going to Tampa with me." Bob Westerdale, on Clinton boxing in Florida.
"When we go on the ice. Will it be slippery?" John Fewkes, guest at at ice hockey game
"Are you a Southpaw or Orthodox boxer? I'm a southadox." Zane Clarke
Glyn: "Paul rang me today..."
"Oh! Where did you see him..." Simon Chambers
"Make us an egg sanny!!"
"We've got no bacon." Debbie Welsh
"I find it harder to get up later early." Ian Stones
"Are you a real butcher? Can you cut up a cow and make chops?"
"I am a butcher, not a magician"" Craig Welsh
"Go to staples its open till 8pm"
"its 8.20pm now. (Phil Wood)" John Fewkes, guest at at ice hockey game
"Remember when Glyn slept 26 hours in one day." Lee Edwards
"Tommy Cooper (Henry Cooper)put Ali on his arse." Lee Douglas
"Whats the difference between Las Vegas and Miami there both the same aren't they." Simon Chambers
"Is the hotel we are staying in las vegas the one with the lights." Lee Edwards
"Put the kettle on for a cup of tea."
"We've no way to cook it." Terry Burke
"Whats Ricky's name." John Fewkes
"Have you lost the keys?"
"No I just can't find them." Terry Burke
"I got my free bus pass because I'm 60"
"Did it cost you anything?" John Fewkes
"Mat you know those iPods you were selling at christmas, can you get me one?" Dean Arnold, in April
"Why didn't you hit him with a straight right hook." Phil
"The contender programs on tonight, its England vs Great Britain." Jamie Casey
"What do i get on the scales for." Julie Gowland, Solicitor
"I've got a head-guard, I keep it under the stairs." Martin Ridge
"I can't do no exercises I've got to go to B&Q for some grass seed." Billy Boyle
"Don't forget we are going to the training camp"
"what do you do in training camp?" Zane Clarke
"Have you got those numbers on you?"
"Yes there at home." Racheal Smith, School Teacher
"It will be good when we get to Las Vegas on the beach." Lee Casey
"My knees hurt when I look in the mirror." Joanne
"Have you got your dollars for america?"
"No I'm spending English money in America." Fewkey
"Did you go to any boxing gyms when you were in America?"
"Yes I went to the one near the World Trade Centre." Jezz Wilson, 2007
"Look at the size of the hands on that lion." Fewkey
"The doctor said my eyes are better than perfect." Arron Hobson
"Are those cows in that field sheep?" Phil Anderson
"I was reading those words that I couldn't read." Chris Kitson
"Guess who's going to be the next little Tony? - Little Jack." Steve Sidebottom
"Throw some steam on the sauna." Chris Kitson
"Guess who's going to be the next little Tony? - Little Jack." Steve Sidebottom
"Please don't tickle me, I wee my pants." Jake
"How are you today?"
"I'm 13." Awad
"He got a cut on his top eyebrow." Carl Wild
"Where are you watching the Hatton fight?"
"It's free on free view for £10.99." Mat Mowatt
"The only person who calls me Joanne is my gran mother, but she's dead." Joanne
"I did my roadwork today at 11am, it was horrible, everyone was cutting their grass." Ross Burkinshaw
"I saw you in the Sheffield Marathon yesterday, was it the Sheffield Marathon yesterday?" Paul Campbell
"Its correct but its wrong by 40p." Terry
"I ran this morning but my alarm didn't go off" Ross Burkinshaw
"I cant train today ive only got my flip flops." Ryan Rowlinson
"If my gloves are 16oz, why does it say 8oz on them." Billy Boyle
"Is it's busy tomorrow morning." Racheal Smith, on Friday
"I haven't been to work all day because I've been mad all day." Shuks
"How's your dad liam?"
"He's fine just a bit badley" Liam Maloney
"If you don't turn up, Julie will kill you and I will kill you."
" Oh I don't want killing twice." Terry
"Steve, do you drink beer?"
"No, I'm tee total I only drink wine." Steve Bailey
"Why are the lights not on?"
"Because there broke"
"But there not broke" Simon Chambers
"I can't train because I've had my tattoo coloured in." Lee Edwards
"Couldn't train for the title fight, I had to wait in for the man to come to fix our washer." John 'Fireball' Fewkes
"I can't do the exercises, my sister's had a baby." Gary, Accountant
"I couldn't train, I stayed at my Nans." Jack
"Shall I sign it in pen or ink?" Lee Casey
"Did you know he got stabbed to death"
"Is he dead?" Shuks
"Do we get our tracksuits for America when we come back?" Chris Kitson
"Put the cold heater on." Waivy
"How long is September, is it still 30 days." Jamie Casey
"I'm never late, I just don't turn up." Terry
"Have I just seen what I just seen." Glyn Rhodes
"I can't spar, I've hurt my thumb playing football." Matt
"You are a looser with a capital Loo." One of the kids
"Terry pass me my phone please, I keep looking at it." Terry Burke
"Why didn't you train on Monday Phil?"
"Because my trainers were wet." Phil Anderson
"What day are you open at the weekend?" Zane
"I've hurt my leg doing situps." Abbi
"We raised £711.65 at Morrisons for the mini bus fund."
"Why, have you got a mini bus?" Barry Bailey
"If I didn't come training early, I would av come late." Royal
"I woke up at 10am and thought, I was right tired." Sam
"I thought October was before September." Lee Casey
"Jason, you haven't defended your Scottish title for ages - are you still Scottish?" Simon Chambers
"Have you had your medical yet?"
"No my mom says my Physiologist will do it." Mason
"Let me speak my speak" Reagan Denton
"We are doing a boxing exhibition, do we need gloves?" Jamie
"These new exercise mats remind me of my double bed." Sam Sheedy
"Does it hurt when you get an Electric Shock." Lee Edwards
"I can't wait till I'm stationed in Germay, I'll get a right tan." Carl Wild
"I'm reliable when I'm here." Terry
"Is Dwayne having a baby"
"No his girlfriend is." Wainy
"How much does a ton weigh." Carl Wild
"Is the fridge cold?" Royal Thompson
"What time does the 7:30 class start." Nick
"Are those tablets still working Emma"
"Only when I take them." Emma
"Guess whose dead?" Lylie
"Slipping punches makes your legs tired." Sam Sheedy
"Sell me a bag of water." Ross
"When its cold in here you have to wear a cheap skin." Terry
"I'm always in the stupid book, when I'm not here." Terry
"Can I borrow some gloves, my boyfriend drove off in mine." Emma
"Does everybody have a birthday." Kane Proverbs
"I cant train today, my moms had a tattoo." John P Woods
"Why didn't you train with all the other boxers at 6pm." "I'm going to, on Fridays I like Fridays." Dean Walker
"Do you want to come on my stag party."
"Why are you getting married?" Phil
"I'm going to get a key board."
"What for" Julie
"Thats easy, it should be a walk in the dark." Mat Mowatt
"They have had some good fights over the years at the Golden Palace (Ceasars Palace)." Steve
"I'm not training tonight its my sisters birthday." Jamie Casey
"Put some cement on the trowel."
"Which side of the trowel do you put the cement on." Lee Edwards
"Its 50p to guess the babies name."
"Is she having a baby?" Reagan Denton
"Can't wait to go for the Xmas meal on Friday, I'm starving." Carl Wild, on monday
"I didn't know my name was different to everyone else." Scott Marcus
"Did you get my text to say the shows off?"
"Is the show off then?" Chris Kitson
"I had to come early to train later." Mason
"Do you think there will be supermarkets in America." John Fewkes
"She had an heart attack but it wasn't a heart attack." Terry
"The coach leaves at 4.30pm to go to Fewkey fight on Friday."
"Is that on Friday?" Lee Casey
"What are you supposed to do with a floor to ceiling ball." Nathon
"What is the pooltable for." Maddy
"I couldn't train Monday because my auntie broke her toe nail." kyle mitchleson
"Where were you last night Omar?"
"I work late on Fridays." Omar, Wednesday night
"When are you training again?"
"I don't know I where glasses." Abdul
"Can I have a drink of water out of the petrol can?" Mick
"Will you step on the scales please."
"What for?" Carlo
"Why are you not putting on your head gear?"
"Because it hurts my nose." Billy Boyle
"I didn't know your hands smell like your feet." Phil Hunt
"What have you been doing today?"
"I came back from London Monday." Josh, on Wednesday
"You must get some bandages for your hands."
"What do they do?" Andy Maloney
"Get a skipping rope to finish off training."
"Why are we doing our exercises?" Joe Mc
"Can I go white water rafting with the lads from the gym?"
"Yes, but you have to be 14 years old."
"I'm 15" Liam Akers
"Jamie do you want to come white water rafting with lads from the gym?"
"Do you drowned?" Jamie Casey
"Pigeons are just rats with tails." Ricky
"Fewkey are all your medicals up to date?"
"Yes but my nan went to hospital." John Fewkes
"I couldn't come training at 5pm I had to feed my ferret" Phil
"I didn't know 7 and 7 add up to 12." Carl Wild
"I sold those gloves Glyn."
"How many Terry?
"None Glyn." Terry Burke
"John look at that pheasant walking across the road."
"Is that a Pheasant?" John Fewkes
"How is Mat getting along with Janets Dad now he's dead?" Ross
"Gary your dog is eating that egg."
"Whats inside eggs?" Steve
"The gym is closed a week today, Sunday."
"Is the gym closed on Sunday then?" Tina
"It's 5 o'clock now it's an hour to six o'clock." Sam Sheedy
"Did you go to the pub after the fight?"
"No we went to the pub." Joe
Jezz (Fireman): "when we put him in the body-bag his mobile phone started ringing."
"Did he answer it?" Terry
"Rachael, why are you looking at the clock while your training?"
"To see if its still today." Racheal Smith
"I saw your son in the shop with his step dad, but it could have been his mom." Guess Who
"Are you wearing your gumsheild to spar?"
"It doesn't work." Ryan
"Where is your component who you are boxing?" Chris
"Glyn don't hit him in the head."
"Why not?"
"He's in the same football team." Jack
"Harry why can't you do press-ups?"
"Because I've hurt my knee." Harry
"Don't forget we are going to training camp May 18th"
"Is that this month?" Zane, in January
"Can you drive all the way to Dublin?" Joe
"Get your 10 press-ups done."
"How many shall i do?" Craig
"You don't bite the legs that feed you." Guess Who
"I can't box my moms 5ft 1ins" Sam
"Are you coming to Mats do tomorrow?"
"I thought it was tomorrow." Sean
"Don't you get fed up of saying what you say, whatever it is you say." Alison Chambers
"Is it ok to put your gloves on with paint on your hands?" Guess Who
"Does paint come off your hands?" John
"When I'm punching the bag, it hurts my eye." Mick
"I couldn't come training, I had to take my moms carpet up." Carl
"Are you coming to our party on Friday?"
"I wont be but, I will be." Harry
"Sorry I'm late, the train was taking the Piss." Omar
"I'm not training tonight, we're going to the bingo." Ruth
"I had to come early to train later." Mason